Hi, I'm David Hasselhoff and I'm here to give you a hip breakdown of what's up in todays world.. today. Don't forget to tell your friends, especially if they're German! I'm really big in Germany!
It looks like Bill Clinton is going to get out of trouble in the polls, just like when I dodged death in that classic 1984 episode of Knight Rider, when I avoided death after falling for a beautiful woman. Okay, so Monica's not beautiful, and Bill isn't really avoiding death, but I think you can dig the beat that's coming through here.
And it looks like John F. Kennedy's been shot dead in 1963, a classic case of whodunnit, not unlike the cases I encounter every week in Baywatch Nights, where last week I almost died after falling for a beautiful woman. And I go down well in Germany like JFK.
But let's end on a happy note with the news that a beautiful woman has just been washed ashore on the Malibu coastline, only to be saved by mouth-to-mouth from yours truly. I reckon she was responding rather well towards the end! Curiously in the process of this, I narrowly avoided being shot by a unknown sniper who was hiding behind a grassy sand dune. Well, thats Baywatch! See you later, kids! Guten tag my deutschen kamaraden as JFK famously said in Berlin!